?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

'Tis done

I took my sister down to the vet with me, for support. My cat was visibly weak, visibly impaired -- he could barely walk -- and visibly unhappy. We spent some time cuddling him, but although he may have licked our hands once, he seemed to take little comfort from it, and let out the saddest meows I've ever heard. The vet explained how the putting to sleep worked -- she would give him an overdose of anesthetic in his catheter, and there would be no pain -- and I held him while she administered it. Then she left us alone with him, and I held him and cried for a while. Then she took him away, wrapped in a blanket. I wish I'd had a camera to take a last picture of him wrapped in the blanket -- he looked like he was just sleeping.

I've wanted all along to bury him in my parents' back garden. We talked about doing it tomorrow, but tomorrow my parents have my disabled aunt over and it's Easter dinner. The vet clinic agreed to hold the body for another week, when we can invite a couple of friends up and have a little wake.

'Tis done. I feel ... oddly serene. I'm not sure if I've taken it in and have accepted it, or if I haven't quite realized what has happened. Most likely I'm keeping it at bay. But I'm not in any mood to put away the cat dishes and the toys just yet.

Tags:

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
glory_jean
Apr. 12th, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
lots of **hugs** for you.
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
lots of **hugs** for you.

Thank you!
kalleah
Apr. 12th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
Putting away his things will be the most difficult, I think. You've gotten used to having him away at the vet.

::hugs you::

It sounds like you did the right thing for him, listening to him to let him tell you when it was time.
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:41 am (UTC)
Putting away his things will be the most difficult, I think. You've gotten used to having him away at the vet.

I think so. It's a step I haven't begun to take yet.

It sounds like you did the right thing for him, listening to him to let him tell you when it was time.

I think it was the right thing. I hope so. I think it was.
earlgreytea68
Apr. 12th, 2009 02:31 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry, darling.
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
Thank you. I appreciate it.
jlrpuck
Apr. 12th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
*hugs*

You have my deepest, most heartfelt condolences. I wish there was something to say or do to make this easier for you.

*hugs*
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
You have my deepest, most heartfelt condolences. I wish there was something to say or do to make this easier for you.

Thanks so much. You've been more than kind throughout this, offering sympathy and support. I appreciate it more than I can say.
pixystixy99
Apr. 12th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, my heart goes out to you. I have been where you are so many times and no matter how much you know, in your heart, that this is the right decision, it never, never is an easy one. But your sweet kitty was loved until the very end and trust me, he knew that. You were absolutely the best thing in his life, don't ever forget that.
Hugs and lots of sweet memories to you.
np_complete
Apr. 16th, 2009 12:05 am (UTC)
Oh, my heart goes out to you. I have been where you are so many times and no matter how much you know, in your heart, that this is the right decision, it never, never is an easy one. But your sweet kitty was loved until the very end and trust me, he knew that. You were absolutely the best thing in his life, don't ever forget that.
Hugs and lots of sweet memories to you.


Thank you for the lovely words of comfort. All your comments have been full of wisdom and sympathy, and they've brought me comfort and meant a lot to me. Thank you so much!
starmalachite
Apr. 13th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. These things are never easy. But I've been there a number of times & can tell you that knowing you did everything you could does help eventually. Remembering how much he loved you -- and you loved him -- will eventually help more, even if it hurts like crazy now.

Peace be with both of you.
np_complete
Apr. 16th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry. These things are never easy. But I've been there a number of times & can tell you that knowing you did everything you could does help eventually. Remembering how much he loved you -- and you loved him -- will eventually help more, even if it hurts like crazy now.

Thank you very much. I'm still sort of frozen up inside, only getting tearful when I talk about him (and about how kind people have been.) I'm told this is not unusual for the first few days.

Thanks again for your kind words and good wishes. I appreciate them very much.
sensiblecat
Apr. 14th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, I feared it would come to this (I've been away a day or two and I'm now catching up). Although it's no doubt, on one level, a relief to have the decision over with, I do feel for you, knowing how much he meant to you. Hugs are being sent your way and I hope you'll be able to remember the happy times, the fact that you did all you possibly could for him and that he ended his time without fear and in your loved company.
np_complete
Apr. 16th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Thank you for the good wishes and comfort. I'm still a bit hollow inside, but I'm told that this is not unusual for the first few days. Once we have the "wake" -- a couple of friends of mine who appreciated him are going to go up with me on Saturday to my parents' house, where we'll bury him -- it will finally be over.

He was a splendid cat, and I have plenty of happy memories of him. I took care to appreciate him every day, especially once he fell ill, so I have no regrets that I didn't spend my time wisely.

Thanks again for the good wishes and the pleasant thoughts. I appreciate them very much.
irishaithne
Apr. 15th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)
I am so, so sorry. *hugs*

Your love and care gave him a wonderful life and in the end, he knew you were doing the best you could. I think having a wake for him will help you grieve. Wallow, cry, and miss him terribly - you're allowed. We're here for you. *holds out tissues*
np_complete
Apr. 16th, 2009 12:18 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. I know from your comments that you've been through this, too. I appreciate the comforting words and good wishes.

I read in your journal that you have a new cat now: how is he doing?
irishaithne
Apr. 16th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
Yes, my cat I'd grown up with had to be put to sleep about 4 years ago. The difficult part for me was I had just moved to Boston for some grad school work and had to leave her with my mom, so I wasn't with her at the end. I can't imagine being the one who makes the decision.

I do have a new kitty. His name is Jude, and he's a tuxedo cat. We get on well, and he can be very cuddly and sweet. I'm having a bit of a tough spot because he's acting out in response to my being at work all day, which I kind of hysterically ranted about this morning, but we'll get past it. Thank you for asking about him.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )