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Cat update - penultimate

The vet says his numbers have not improved, and will only get worse, and that, while I could take him home for a day or so, the kindest thing to do, if I've thought about it and am ready for it, is to put him to sleep.

So I'm going out to visit with him for the last time. I hope he recognizes me and purrs. That would mean so much to me. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to hurry him out of the world before he's ready to go. If they had animal hospice, where he could be on painkillers, that would be perfect. But the choices seem to be to let him suffer until he can't take it any more, or to put him to sleep before his suffering gets too great.

I was doing all right until I called my Dad, whose sympathy and regret and affection for me and my kitty was too much for me, and I started to cry. I'm not sure I can stop. I'm not sure there's any reason to try.

He was as good a cat as there ever was, and my companion and comfort for twelve years. I will miss him with everything I do.

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Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
glory_jean
Apr. 11th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. I know nothing I can say will really help except that I've been there and I know how hard it is.

*hugs*
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:27 am (UTC)
Thank you. Your kind words mean a lot to me.
jlrpuck
Apr. 11th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
*offers sympathy, hugs, and a shoulder to cry on*

You've done all you can for him; and I'm sure you doing this because it *is* the right thing to do.

*offers more hugs*
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:29 am (UTC)
*offers sympathy, hugs, and a shoulder to cry on*

Thank you! You've been so supportive throughout this -- I really appreciate it.

You've done all you can for him; and I'm sure you doing this because it *is* the right thing to do.

I think it was. The only other option seemed to be to let him continue suffering for a while, and I couldn't have borne that.
kalleah
Apr. 11th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
Throughout all of your updates on your cat's condition, you have shown such deep love for him and consideration for how he feels. I know this is such a painful decision for you but please know that you have been acting without selfishness, trying to do what is right for him. You have been a wonderful parent for him.

::hugs::
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
Throughout all of your updates on your cat's condition, you have shown such deep love for him and consideration for how he feels. I know this is such a painful decision for you but please know that you have been acting without selfishness, trying to do what is right for him. You have been a wonderful parent for him.

Thank you so much. That's very comforting to hear. I think it's inevitable if you have the care of someone who dies that you question yourself, your motives, your choices. But I know I did the best I could.
platypus
Apr. 11th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC)
*hug*

It would be impossible for him to have had a more loving, concerned parent than you. At every step you've thought only about what's best for him. I'm so sorry this came as soon as it did.
np_complete
Apr. 15th, 2009 02:35 am (UTC)
It would be impossible for him to have had a more loving, concerned parent than you. At every step you've thought only about what's best for him. I'm so sorry this came as soon as it did.

Thank you so much. That's very comforting to hear. It means a lot.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )