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I woke at 4 and decided to take a shower. I was afraid that if I went back to bed I would sleep until 8:30 or 9 and be hyper-late for work. I've been skirting the edge of doing that lately. (Yes, I have "wakefulness equipment", and no, it's not always enough to get me permanently OUT of the bed.)

I am a person who has an agenda most of the day: there's always something I'm either trying to do or feeling that I ought to be doing. Last night it was cleaning the apartment. Getting up at 4 am gives you a gift of time that nothing has any claims on. Oh, I could seize the day like a rattly toboggan and go hurtling into the morning, two hours early, but instead I'm just sitting here, being what my uneducated Western self calls "zen", thinking without anxiety and without agenda.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 30th, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC)
And thinking without anxiety and without agenda has its uses!
Aug. 31st, 2011 10:22 am (UTC)
But if you think about its use, aren't you forming an agenda? Life is so confusing!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )